


All We Know

by KatHowellLester



Series: 123 Days Of HotchxReid [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Fluff, M/M, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 00:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12243453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatHowellLester/pseuds/KatHowellLester
Summary: Spencer is getting migraines again and this time a doctor diagnoses him with anxiety. Aaron helps him deal with it.





	All We Know

“Reid, my office, please.” Spencer left his desk and followed Aaron to his office. When the door was shut and the blinds were covering the window, Aaron kissed Spencer.

“I love this job. And I love you. I won't give all that up just because I have anxiety. It's not fair.” Spencer started to cry.

“Are you ready for your doctor’s appointment, baby?” Aaron asked, gathering his things.

“Not really. I don’t want to go.” Spencer had tears in his eyes, and his voice wavered.

“Why?” Aaron stopped moving and looked at Spencer.

“What if it’s not good news? What if they take me away from you?” 

“I would never let them do that. No one is going to take you from me, I promise. We are going to see the doctor and when we get home, we can do whatever you want, okay? We’ll have the day off.” Spencer nodded and wiped his eyes.

****

“So we have discussed your migraines and panic attacks, and, after consulting with a couple specialists, I am diagnosing you with social anxiety disorder and mysophobia.” Spencer teared up again, looking to Aaron for support.

“So, what are the treatment options, considering his family history of other mental illnesses?” Aaron wrapped his arm around Spencer’s waist subtly.

“He can try therapy, medication, or no treatment at all. If you’d like I can recommend you to a psychiatrist who can give you therapy until a proper medication and a full time therapist is decided upon.” Spencer nodded.

“I do have to warn you that some medication wouldn’t work in combination with medication you may need in the future should you start to display the symptoms of schizophrenia. I also wish to inform you that since schizophrenia is only present in your mother, you have a very low chance of having it yourself, though it is still possible.”

****

Within a couple months, Spencer’s psychiatrist found the best treatment plan for him, which didn’t include medication. She finally found the best therapist for him, after searching extensively for the best option. Spencer asked for a cognitive-behavioural therapist, and it took a lot more convincing than he thought for his psychiatrist to find him one. His first appointment was only a couple hours away and he had never been this scared to talk to someone in his life, except for when he first met Aaron.

“Aaron, I’m scared.”

“I know, sweetheart. This man will help you get better, though. I’ll be waiting for you when the appointment is over. Then we can come home and have dinner and talk about or do whatever you want. How does that sound?”

Spencer barely made it to the door of the building before he was clutching Aaron’s hand like his life depended on it. As he signed in, he watched as his hand shook while he wrote his name on the line. His breathing became shallow while sitting in their waiting room. When they called his name, he was hesitant to stand because he knew he had to do this without Aaron.

****

Spencer was pleasantly surprised by the therapist and how easy it was to talk to him. His name was Lance and he was careful and aware of Spencer’s background in psychology. Lance informed Spencer that he was there to help him, not to fix him.

“Anxiety is manageable, but not curable. There is always going to be an anxious thought somewhere in your brain. But there will be a day when you’ll feel better. If you’re having a bad time, take care of yourself. I noticed your boyfriend in the lobby and I think that you need to know that most significant others wouldn’t even come in the lobby, let alone wait for you. Don’t be afraid to ask him to help you take care of yourself sometimes.”

Lance gave him a couple pamphlets about coping mechanisms and self care, telling him to use them. When Spencer and Aaron left, Spencer was significantly less stressed than when they arrived. Aaron didn’t want to press it, but he assumed that everything would start to get a bit better for Spencer. He would never tell Spencer, but knowing that Spencer was anxious was stressful for Aaron. He loved Spence, would do anything to make him happy, and seeing him at ease for once was calming for Aaron.

****

That night, Aaron finally decided to ask about the appointment. Spencer was in the bath tub and Aaron was folding laundry in their bedroom.

“Lance is incredibly nice. He reminded me how lucky I am to have you.” Aaron smiled.

“I’m lucky to have you, pumpkin.” He heard Spencer giggle.

  
_ This feeling’s all we know _ .


End file.
